Jack Neary

THE STANDS
The wooden stands adjacent to a New England Little League baseball field, early spring. As the play progresses, depending on what is happening on the field, we can hear the SOUNDS and actions of the young baseball players.
TESS, in her later thirties, enters and approaches the rickety set of bleachers. It’s April, which means Tess is bundled up as if it were February, because it might as well be.  
At the moment, she is alone.  Her teeth chattering, she appears to be focused on something in the distance.  Finally, she yells.
TESS
Go ahead!  Just go ahead and tell him you’re here!  Yes!   The man with the bats!  He’s the coach!  Tell him you’re....
(the coach has looked in her direction)
Oh.  THAT’S MY SON!  HE’S THE FIRST ONE HERE!
Another young woman, DALE, arrives at the bleachers, also looking off in the distance, and hollering in that direction.
DALE
Over there, Merle...where the other boy is!  You’re the second one here!...That’s all right.  It’s all right to be the second one here!  
(shoots a glance to Tess, then to the unseen coach)
HEY! COACH! MERLE!  HIS NAME IS MERLE!  
(to Tess)
What’s your kid’s name?
TESS
Patrick.
DALE
(yells)
MERLE! THAT KID IS PATRICK!  TELL HIM YOU’RE MERLE! TELL HIM!  TELL HIM!
(to Tess)
He hates to tell people his name is Merle.
(back to Merle)
TELL HIM!
Dale sits in the stands.
TESS
Patrick won’t make fun or anything.
DALE
Why would he make fun?
TESS
Oh!...Just...Hi...I’m Tess.
DALE
Dale.
TESS
Dale... I used to know a Dale. She ran a CVS near my house.
DALE
(with surprise)
I run a CVS!
TESS
Really?
DALE
No. 
(smile; points at Tess--it’s just a joke)
DALE
Great weather for baseball.
TESS
Why don’t they wait until May, for Pete’s sake?
DALE
It’s the coaches.  The way they’ve been brought up.  Baseball starts in April and ends in October. Unless MLB adds another wild card, then it’ll end the day after Thanksgiving.
TESS
But this is Little League.
DALE
Tell that to the coaches. They all think they’re managing in the Majors.
TESS
Isn’t that a little...
DALE
Insane? Welcome to Little League.
TESS
Ah.
DALE
Ah.
TESS
I can’t believe they get that intense.
DALE
How old is your kid?
TESS
Nine.
DALE
Your first year.
TESS
Yeah.
DALE
Talk to me in July, tell me what you can’t believe then.
TESS
Wow.
DALE
Yeah.  Wow.  Merle’s my third trip around the bases.
Another young woman has arrived, also bundled up, also looking towards the field.  This is PRISSY.
PRISSY
(hollering)
Thomas!  THOMAS!  LOOK AT ME!  IF I’M NOT HERE AT THE END OF THE PRACTICE, GET A RIDE HOME WITH SOMEBODY ELSE!...I DON’T KNOW, FIND SOMEBODY.
(to Tess)
Where do you live?
TESS
Uh...Prescott Street.  
PRISSY
Prescott Street where?
TESS
Uh...off Gorham.
PRISSY
What’s your kid’s name?
TESS
Patrick.
PRISSY
(instantly yelling at field)
GET A RIDE WITH PATRICK!
(to Tess)
You mind?
TESS
Uh...no.
PRISSY
PATRICK’S MOTHER DOESN’T MIND!
(to Tess)
I’m Prissy.
Sits at a significant distance from Tess and Dale.
TESS
No, really, that’s okay...
DALE
That’s her name.
TESS
Oh.
(to Prissy)
Short for Priscilla?
PRISSY
No.
TESS
I’m Tess.
PRISSY
Hi.
ANMDTESS
And you know Dale. 
PRISSY
I know.
DALE
She knows.
TESS
Oh.
PRISSY
(to Dale, pointing to field)
Is that a new one?
DALE
Yeah. Merle.
PRISSY
Jesus, why don’t you give your kids names that won’t get them beat up in the school yard?
DALE
Makes them tough in life.
PRISSY
(to Tess)
You know what she called her other kids?
TESS
Well...
PRISSY
Heywood and Bertram.
TESS
(helping out)
Woody and Bert!
DALE
No. Heywood and Bertram.
TESS
Ah.
DALE
My kids are gonna be tough as shit.
PRISSY
(to Tess)
How come I don’t know you?
TESS
Well, this is my first year.
PRISSY
Yeah, here. But how come I don’t know you from real life? I know everybody around here.
TESS
We... we just moved here.
PRISSY
I knew it. From where?
TESS
Latrobe.
PRISSY
Where’s that?
TESS
In Pennsylvania. Near Pittsburgh.
DALE
Arnold Palmer, right?
TESS
Yes. He’s from there.
PRISSY
Who?
DALE
Arnold Palmer.  He’s a famous golfer. Was. He’s dead.
PRISSY
Arnold? His name was Arnold?
DALE
Arnold.
PRISSY
Sounds like one of your kids.
(to Tess)
What do you do?
TESS
I’m a teacher.
PRISSY
What do you teach?
TESS
Spanish.
PRISSY
Spanish?  To kids?
TESS
Yes.
PRISSY
Why?
TESS
It’s...it’s...a very popular language...up here.
PRISSY
If you’re Spanish.
DALE
(to Tess)
Look, let me jump in here and save you a lot of grief.  Prissy, here...she’s a contrarian.
PRISSY
I am not.
DALE
See?
PRISSY
What do you mean I’m a contrarian?
DALE
What I mean is, somebody says somethin’, you say somethin’ back that says somethin’ contrary to the somethin’ that the somebody said. 
PRISSY
Contrary like opposite?
DALE
Contrary like contrary.  It’s very difficult to have a conversation with you that goes anywhere.
PRISSY
Where do you want your conversation to go?
DALE
Somewhere.
PRISSY
Yeah.  Well...good luck with that.
DALE
(to Tess)
See?
Another young woman arrives.  She speaks tentatively.  Her name is MEGAN.  
MEGAN
Excuse me?  I told my son to go to the field there.  Is that where he’s supposed to go?
DALE
Is he on the team?
MEGAN
The baseball team?
DALE
Yes.  Is he on the baseball team?
MEGAN
Yes.  They called him to come here to play.  So I just wanted to make sure he....
TESS
Yes.  Yes.  He’s at the right place.
MEGAN
(gently yelling)
Okay, Mark.  This is the place.
PRISSY
He didn’t hear you.
MEGAN
(tries again)
Mark?  Mark?
PRISSY
Jesus.
(stands up)
YO, MARKIE! YO!! THIS IS THE PLACE! YOU’RE ALL SET, KID!
(sits; to Megan)
There you go.
MEGAN
Thanks.  Do I sit here?
PRISSY
I don’t know.  Do you?
TESS
Yes...we all have kids on the team.
MEGAN
(sitting, looking at field)
My Mark is a little shy.
PRISSY
He’ll be fine.  A ball will hit him in the face, break his nose, he’ll bleed and cry and he’ll be just like all the other kids.
DALE
(to Megan)
She’s a contrarian.
PRISSY
I am not.
TESS
I’m Tess.
DALE
I’m Dale.  She’s Prissy.
MEGAN
Oh, that’s all right, I don’t mind.
DALE & TESS
That’s her name.
MEGAN
Oh. Short for...?
DALE & TESS
No!
MEGAN
Oh.
PRISSY
Hi.
MEGAN
I’m Megan.
DALE
(looking towards field)
How old is your son?
MEGAN
He’s nine.
DALE
Wow.
MEGAN
Yeah.  He’s a big boy.
PRISSY
So your husband must be...
MEGAN
Oh, no.  Mark, senior is just a little bigger than me.
PRISSY
(beat)
How big is your mailman?
A man in his forties arrives, along with an elderly woman.  This is FRANKIE and his mother, GENA. Gena is somewhat gruff.
FRANKIE
Okay, Ma, we’ll sit here.
GENA
On the...on the...benches?
FRANKIE
In the stands, Ma, yes.  This is where we sit to watch the baseball.  This is where we always sit to watch the baseball.  Hello, ladies.
DALE
Frankie.  Gena.
GENA
(as she ascends)
I’ll get a sliver.
FRANKIE
You won’t get a sliver.
PRISSY
Don’t tell me your kid is still on the team.
FRANKIE
Yes, Prissy, he’s still on the team.
PRISSY
I thought he’d be married by now.
GENA
(sitting)
I better not get a sliver.
FRANKIE
You won’t get a sliver.
MEGAN
Which one is he?
PRISSY
The one with the goatee.
FRANKIE
Shut up, Prissy.
GENA
Don’t say shut up, Frankie.
FRANKIE
You want Prissy to keep talkin’, Ma?
GENA
No.  Shut up, Prissy.
PRISSY
I hope you get a sliver.
TESS
(to Frankie)
What’s your son’s name?
FRANKIE
Paulie.  What’s yours?
TESS
Patrick.
FRANKIE
Like the saint.
GENA
Paulie’s named after a saint, too, you know.
PRISSY
Yeah.  St. Paulie.  Makes a hell of a beer.
GENA
Shut up, Prissy.
(blesses herself)
My late husband gave him that name.
FRANKIE
He did not, Ma. Cheryl and I gave him that name.
GENA
But your father suggested it. “Paulie,” he said. “Paulie is a strong name!”
FRANKIE
Fine.
GENA
Strong!
FRANKIE
Fine!
GENA
My Antonio, rest his soul, loved his Paulie.
(blesses herself again)
TESS
So what happens today?  First practice.  They get to know each other.  Get to know the coach.  Do some drills to improve their skills?
PRISSY
Listen to her.  Drills.
TESS
They don’t drill?
DALE
Oh, they drill.  They drill and drill and drill.
PRISSY
It’s the improving their skills that don’t happen.
TESS
How is that possible?
PRISSY
Because Joe Genovese knows less about baseball than they do.
TESS
Who?
DALE
The coach.
PRISSY
He’s a slug.
DALE
He’s incompetent.
GENA
He throws like a girl.
(to Frankie)
You should be the coach.
FRANKIE
I don’t have the patience.
GENA
At least you throw like a boy.
(to Tess)
My Frankie played in the minors.
TESS
Really?
FRANKIE
(deflecting)
Single A. Single A.
GENA
Always it’s you with the “Single A.”  Why can’t you stand up like a person and just agree with me when I tell people what you did.  Nobody cares how many A’s you played in.  You played in the minors.  Did you play in the minor leagues of baseball?
FRANKIE
Yes, Ma.
GENA
(to Tess)
So.  There.  
TESS
Pretty impressive.
FRANKIE
Single A.
GENA
Oh, you give me an ulcer.  Ow!
FRANKIE
What?
GENA
I got a sliver.
Instantly, LIGHTS OUT and a spot light hits Tess, who addresses the audience. (Note: the audience represents an unidentified interviewer of some authority. These interviews are happening at a different time and location from the baseball field. There is no accompanying sound.)
TESS
So that was my first day.  That was my group... Have you... spoken to anyone else about this?... Oh. Um. Okay... Uh... They were the only parents who showed up at every game through the season.  Two or three or four other parents dropped by at various times over the summer, but these were the stalwarts. Didn’t miss a game. Every once in a while, Prissy left early and I gave Thomas a ride home.  But she came to every game.  We all did. We... learned a lot about each other that first day, for better or worse. Anyway, we were the regulars. So we were all here at the last game, when it happened. 
(beat)
Pretty unbelievable, huh?...
(beat)
Up until then it was mostly fun. Patrick’s team was pretty bad. Except... you know... when Paulie pitched. In the middle of the season, they were 2 and 7. I said it didn’t matter who won or who lost, as long as everybody on the team had a good time.  I asked him if he was having a good time and he said... no.  I asked him why.  And he said...”Everybody on the team throws like a girl.”