Jack Neary

            Dear Peter:  By the time you read this, I'll be gone.  Couple

            of things I forgot to tell you.  I'll just jot them down

            here, you pass them along to the guys, make sure they spread

            the word, okay?  One--I'm having second thoughts about the no

            meat on Fridays thing.  I mean, "Love Thy Neighbor," Thou

            Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Kill,"  "No Meat On

            Fridays?"  Where's the connection?  I don't know what I was

            thinking.  Anyway, try it out a couple of years, if it

            doesn't catch on, let it go.  Two--Don't, whatever you do,

            tell anybody about that Last Supper we had.  Yeah, we had a

            good time, but we looked like a bunch of farmers.  Last thing

            I need is somebody drawing a picture of it and passing it

            around to their friends, know what I mean?  I mean, whose

            idea was it for everybody to sit on the same side of the

            table?

                    Okay, so we were able to see the magician better. 

            Big deal!  It was too crowded.  Three--and this is very

            important, Peter--you and the guys have developed this real

            annoying Boys Club mentality over the last couple of years. 

            Knock it off.  Hey, a little bonding is fine.  Fishing trip

            every once in a while, maybe a stag pilgrimage if the mood

            strikes you, okay.  But enough is enough.  From now on, if 

            the girls want to say the Mass, let 'em.  Where's the

            problem?  I'm gonna tell you something now I never told you

            before...I have a sister.  And the only reason I'm here and

            not her is that we flipped a drachma and I won the toss. I

            never told you because Dad wanted to keep things simple, but

            now that I'm going to be gone for a while, I thought you

            should know.  So, the next time you guys get together I want

            you to bring dates and loosen up a bit.  Also, I'm flattered

            that Andrew started that blessing yourself thing in my name,

            but if you're gonna be fair about it, it should be "In the

            name of the Father, the Son, the daughter, and the Holy

            Ghost."  And, by the way, it wouldn't be a bad idea to drop

            the Ghost and change it to Spirit.  Ghost gives me the

            creeps...Now, fourth and finally, I know you guys like the

            idea of setting up headquarters in Rome but I hope you're

            planning to mix it up a bit down the line.  Spread the

            wealth.  Rome a couple of years, then maybe Padua, Milan. 

            Gaul, if you get ambitious.  All I know is that Dad's plan is

            that by late in the 20th Century the Holy See should be

            located on Lakeview Avenue in Dracut, Massachusetts.  Don't

            ask me why.  Take it up with him.  For now, just make a note. 

            Okay, that's it for now.  Get through the weekend as best you

            can.  It'll be tough, but hang in there, it's all gonna work

            out for the best.  I will be back, remember.  The plan is to

            let you guys run the show for a while, see how you do.  Then,

            if things get wacky again, one of us'll come down, straighten

            things out.  Next time, it'll probably be my sister, so I

            hope you folks work on the equality thing a bit before she

            gets here.  If you think I've got a short fuse, wait'll you

            meet Aretha...Sincerely, J.C.