Ultimately, we’ll be all over the place, so flexibility and costuming should be the watchwords in attempting to establish locations and situations. Feel free to rely on the words to tell the story, but also feel free to create props and set pieces which might contribute to the story, as told.
The first thing the audience should be aware of, in the dark, is MUSIC. It should start off mellow, melodic and pleasant, then rapidly turn playful, then pleasantly cacophonous. It should also reach a cacophonous peak, then stop abruptly, at which point, the VOICE of the QUEEN OF HEARTS bellows through the darkness.
QUEEN OF HEARTS (V.O.)
OFF WITH HER HEAD!
LIGHTS UP FULL, revealing ALICE, a little girl, sitting in a chair. To her right, on a throne high above her, is the KING OF HEARTS, a modest little man. To her left, on another throne high above Alice, is the QUEEN OF HEARTS, a robust bellower.
ALICE
Excuse me!
KING OF HEARTS
Why, what did you do?
QUEEN OF HEARTS
OFF WITH HER HEAD, I SAY!
KING OF HEARTS
Well, I know you say, dear. You say it loud enough...
QUEEN OF HEARTS
OFF WITH HER HEAD!
KING OF HEARTS
And you seem to keep on saying it...
ALICE
Off with MY head?
QUEEN OF HEARTS
YOU HEARD ME!
KING OF HEARTS
Of course we heard you. I wager even the herd heard you.
SOUND of a HERD OF CATTLE.
KING OF HEARTS (cont’d)
See?
QUEEN OF HEARTS
OFF WITH HER HEAD!
KING OF HEARTS
Now, wait a minute, dear, I thought as King I was deciding the fate of the Knave of Hearts. Something about stolen tarts.
QUEEN OF HEARTS
YES! OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
KING OF HEARTS
I don’t even know where he is.
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Fine, then. OFF WITH HER HEAD!
ALICE
(to Queen)
But why, your Majesty?
(to King)
Doesn’t the Queen need a reason to cut off someone’s head?
KING OF HEARTS
Not generally, no.
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Reason! How DARE you ask me for a reason?
ALICE
How dare you cut off my head!
QUEEN OF HEARTS
I haven’t!
ALICE
Aha!
QUEEN OF HEARTS
But I will!
ALICE
But why????
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Ah! I see! You want...A REASON!
ALICE
Yes!
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Fine! Then I shall give you a reason!
ALICE
I think I deserve one.
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Oh. Well, then...that’s an entirely different story. If you deserve a reason, then I will not give you one.
ALICE
What? Why?
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Reasons are well and good, but only if they are undeserved. Once a reason is deserved, it becomes unavailable. Everybody knows that. OFF WITH HER HEAD!
KING OF HEARTS
Well, what if I asked you for a reason?
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Do you deserve a reason?
KING OF HEARTS
No.
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Then I shall give you one.
(to Alice)
See how it works?
(to King)
I am ordering her head cut off because I have no idea who she is, nor how she got here! She is, for all intents and purposes...
KING OF HEARTS
Don’t say it...
QUEEN OF HEARTS
A FOREIGNER!
KING OF HEARTS
Oh, no!
(to Alice)
That’s bad news for your head.
ALICE
But I can tell you exactly who I am and precisely how I got here!
QUEEN OF HEARTS
You can?
ALICE
Absolutely!
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Then that’s a completely different kettle of fish! I will grant you the standard twenty-four hundred ticks of the clock to convincingly explain to me who you are and how you got here! Hen-RY!
The King grabs a huge stop watch, and pushes the pin.
ALICE
Twenty-four hundred ticks?
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Twenty-three hundred ninety eight. And counting.
ALICE
(quickly jumps to the floor)
Oh! Well, then...I shall...I shall tell you everything...
QUEEN OF HEARTS
Twenty-three hundred ninety-two...
As Alice tells her story, the King and Queen remain in sight, each in a pin spot of light.
Whenever possible, props and set pieces can be utilized to help Alice tell the story, but they should appear and disappear whimsically.
ALICE
I was...I was strolling through the lovely wood near my house, you see, with my sister, when we both sat on the grass to rest...